Back Surgery My Ass
Jim Carroll?!? Fuck!! I thought he died years ago.
(Aside -- last time I was there, Tim Russert and a few other notable folks passed on, and if I was a celebrity, I'd start to get worried every time Mrs. G and I plan a camping trip.)
Anyway... it was in one of those early edition newspapers -- the Reno Gazette-Journal, I believe -- that I read last Friday or Saturday about the former
Naaah. I don't buy it.
What I think really happened is that a crack surgical team of Satan-appointed Josef Mengele clones opened Cheney up just wide enough to spoon in another heapin' helpin' of the Pure Unadulterated Evil that fills the hole in his chest where his heart should be; the glowing, radioactive malevolence that courses through his nearly-collapsed veins and keeps that malicious son of a bitch alive. The brimstone coursed through the intravenous tubes, the aroma of dozens of sacrificed virgin newborns wafted through the operating theater and the demonic host busied themselves recharging the batteries of wickedness inside the American Darth Vader, readying him for battle against the forces of liberalism and steadying him for more disingenuous appearances on Fox News. I think that's what really happened
You are free to disagree with this theory, of course, but lacking any concrete empirical evidence to the contrary, I remain convinced that my scenario is the true one.