Shorter Alberto Gonzales

Wait a minute -- is that possible? If little Alberto Gonzales were any shorter, he'd occupy negative space. Which, come to think of it, is exactly where his and his boss' ethics reside. Anyway, moving on...

"I take full responsibility for the decisions that I can't recall making, but for which I should not be held responsible. That's what I apparently think, but I don't remember the specifics."

On just a slightly different note, that must be one voracious damn dog that keeps eating the Bush administration's homework...