Naked Media Whore Exposed

Ann-orexic. mAnn Coulter. The miniskirted, Adam's-appled and bepenised spawn of Satan. You know who I mean. Other than the occasional misleading and shameless blogwhoring attempts to get new readers by posting a bogus headline reading ANN COULTER NUDE!!! once in a blue moon, I rarely mention the offensive, bony-assed skank-bag ho, the ultimate masturbatory fantasy for lonely, pimply-faced wingnut trolls everywhere, here at The Generik Brand. The reason for that is simply that she thrives on attention, be it positive or negative, and I generally feel that the best way to deal with a disgusting, hateful media slut like her is to completely ignore her. Why give her what she craves, which is simply attention? She'll say absolutely anything, no matter how outrageous or tasteless (or baseless), just to keep the cameras on her, and to keep the checks rolling in. In fact, the more outrageous the statements she makes, the more the media courts her, which is why she keeps raising her own bar for offensiveness. She vilifies and insults Americans of virtually every stripe save for her own narrow-minded, bigoted, mouth-breathing compatriots and then laughs all the way to the bank when the conservative-promoting corporate press falls all over her as the "hot blonde bad girl" saying something controversial again. "Oh, Ann, you're so outrageous! You're so over the top! Telling women whose husbands died in the 9/11 tragedy that you've 'never seen people enjoying their husbands' death so much' and then wondering if those same dead husbands weren't 'intent on divorcing those harpies anyway' is just... well, it's naughty, Ann! It's simply not done -- much -- in polite society! Tee-hee! It's a riot! You're such a card!"

Okay, then, why am I violating my own semi-rule and writing about her? (I almost wrote "writhing about her," which brings another, completely unwanted and unwarranted image to mind...) Well, partly because my friend in Southern California, Peter A. (who is not to be confused with another friend named Peter, who lives in Seattle and uses the online handle "Buffoon"), sent me an email message that I just couldn't ignore; and also because one of the few journalists that I truly respect, Greg Palast, released a book on the same day as the Princess With A Penis (6/6/06, apparently Coulter's father's birthday), and I'd like to see his book sell at least as well as hers (fat chance in today's America).

Among the things that my friend Peter mentions is that the word "coulter" means "plowshare." Could we possibly pound this repugnant pundit into that -- or something even more useful? Another suggestion he makes is that we use the acronym WINO, echoing the right-wing epithet RINO (Republican In Name Only), for the noisome flame-thrower. WINO, of course, would stand for Woman In Name Only. Finally, he wonders if skANNk isn't possibly the illegitimate mother of the Olsen twins. Oh, sorry, am I being ungallant here? Eee-yeah. Bummer, bitch.

The other reason that I bothered to post about the WASP-version of Michelle Malkin is that I read that the local paper in the aggravating harridan's hometown has published an open letter to her mother, as if it would do any good. So consider my job here done. I promise not to mention the name of the most disgusting and offensive spokes-skank again for a long time... unless, of course, I run across some pictures of her naked.

GAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Excuse me while I go puke just thinking about the possibility.

***UPDATE*** Open letter link fixed. Thanks, SSM.