I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT JESUS... AGAIN!
My younger brother and main man in China, M Otis, is one opinionated sonofagun and a better writer than I am. He sent me this message over the weekend, and I enjoyed it so much that I'm sharing it with all of you, my many and varied readers. I did not personally see the movie in question here -- though I did go see Sideways for the second time yesterday, and liked it just as much as I did the first time I saw it. But enough about me.
Here, then, are my brother's comments about The Brave. Enjoy.
Dude,
I thought you might enjoy this film review I just wrote. I downloaded the movie from a BitTorrent site, and the guy who seeded it wrote this:
>>Askbollen wrote:
>>Please give some feedback after you´ve seen it.
...so, OK, I gave him some feedback.
The film was a Johnny Depp outing called THE BRAVE.
Hi Askbollen,
I downloaded this and watched it today.
First of all, let me thank you for seeding and sharing. I did enjoy the film overall... I think Johnny Depp is one of the most underrated actors in Hollywood today, and he did a good job of acting in this one. I liked the rest of the cast too. I liked the atmosphere, I liked the look of the thing, and in every superficial sense I thought it was well done.
Having said all that, I have to admit that I rolled my eyes in a sarcastic derision worthy of a 13-year-old American girl at the mall with her father many times while I watched this movie. When, oh when oh WHEN, will the writers and filmmakers of the world stop smacking us in our collective head with their giant hamlike fists of thinly-veiled symbolic Jesii? It seems like every third movie I see features a character who echoes that little fairy tale they used to try to cram down my throat when I was in Catholic school. It might be OK in a small handful of films, provided that the Christian symbolism isn't too obvious and takes a little careful thought to perceive, but damn near every time they do it it's just painfully, horribly overdone. I feel like I'm being beaten to death with a bible when I watch this shit. I keep expecting the director to kick down my front door and come charging in while I'm watching his movie so he can wrestle me to the floor, pin my shoulders, thrust his nose against mine, and scream LOOK! HE'S JESUS! GET IT? HE'S FUCKING JESUS!!!! DO YOU GET IT YET?
Worst of all, this film really didn't appear to have any other purpose or meaning to it. Did the writer, the producer, the director, and all the other people involved with it seriously think that OH MY GOD HE'S JESUS would make a profound movie (again) all by itself? Did they actually believe that they were being subtle enough about it for it to remain in the subtext? If so, what was the superficial meaning supposed to be... that Native Americans have a shitty life suffering oppression and constant relocation at the hands of THE MAN? I mean, come on... their ancestors got ganked, to be sure, but Native Americans today get free money, free land, low- or no-interest government loans and handouts and scholarships of all kinds, exemption from a lot of our more egregious anti-fun legislation (like the laws against casinos, fireworks, and peyote consumption)... hell, I could go on all day. So if this movie was something more than yet another ridiculously ham-handed attempt at the turgid, stale old theme of WHY GOSH, HE'S JESUS, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, then what the fuck was it
about?
Please, if anyone is reading this and feels tempted to pull out that tired old saw about how it's just a movie, and is meant only to entertain, and tell me I should just relax and not be so critical... well hey, just don't do it, OK? The movies you're thinking of have titles like DEUCE BIGELOW and AMERICAN PIE and ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE. They are sheer fluff, with no pretensions of being anything else. Once you start trying to hint around that your protagonist is Jesus, you leave that territory forever, and are obligated to either deliver something with some literary merit, or be mocked and derided by people like me.
Askbollen, please let me once again thank you for sharing. I hope to god you won't take any of the nasty things I've said in this post personally, unless you were somehow involved in the making of this film... or any other film that purports to be deep, but succeeds only in insulting the intelligence of the audience. If you happen to be Johnny Depp, please send me a private message so we can talk about you hiring me to choose your scripts for you, so that you don't continue to waste your formidable acting talent and end up remembered by posterity for being a complete fucking jackass who made movies for fatheads.
=MOTIS=
Here, then, are my brother's comments about The Brave. Enjoy.
Dude,
I thought you might enjoy this film review I just wrote. I downloaded the movie from a BitTorrent site, and the guy who seeded it wrote this:
>>Askbollen wrote:
>>Please give some feedback after you´ve seen it.
...so, OK, I gave him some feedback.
The film was a Johnny Depp outing called THE BRAVE.
Hi Askbollen,
I downloaded this and watched it today.
First of all, let me thank you for seeding and sharing. I did enjoy the film overall... I think Johnny Depp is one of the most underrated actors in Hollywood today, and he did a good job of acting in this one. I liked the rest of the cast too. I liked the atmosphere, I liked the look of the thing, and in every superficial sense I thought it was well done.
Having said all that, I have to admit that I rolled my eyes in a sarcastic derision worthy of a 13-year-old American girl at the mall with her father many times while I watched this movie. When, oh when oh WHEN, will the writers and filmmakers of the world stop smacking us in our collective head with their giant hamlike fists of thinly-veiled symbolic Jesii? It seems like every third movie I see features a character who echoes that little fairy tale they used to try to cram down my throat when I was in Catholic school. It might be OK in a small handful of films, provided that the Christian symbolism isn't too obvious and takes a little careful thought to perceive, but damn near every time they do it it's just painfully, horribly overdone. I feel like I'm being beaten to death with a bible when I watch this shit. I keep expecting the director to kick down my front door and come charging in while I'm watching his movie so he can wrestle me to the floor, pin my shoulders, thrust his nose against mine, and scream LOOK! HE'S JESUS! GET IT? HE'S FUCKING JESUS!!!! DO YOU GET IT YET?
Worst of all, this film really didn't appear to have any other purpose or meaning to it. Did the writer, the producer, the director, and all the other people involved with it seriously think that OH MY GOD HE'S JESUS would make a profound movie (again) all by itself? Did they actually believe that they were being subtle enough about it for it to remain in the subtext? If so, what was the superficial meaning supposed to be... that Native Americans have a shitty life suffering oppression and constant relocation at the hands of THE MAN? I mean, come on... their ancestors got ganked, to be sure, but Native Americans today get free money, free land, low- or no-interest government loans and handouts and scholarships of all kinds, exemption from a lot of our more egregious anti-fun legislation (like the laws against casinos, fireworks, and peyote consumption)... hell, I could go on all day. So if this movie was something more than yet another ridiculously ham-handed attempt at the turgid, stale old theme of WHY GOSH, HE'S JESUS, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, then what the fuck was it
about?
Please, if anyone is reading this and feels tempted to pull out that tired old saw about how it's just a movie, and is meant only to entertain, and tell me I should just relax and not be so critical... well hey, just don't do it, OK? The movies you're thinking of have titles like DEUCE BIGELOW and AMERICAN PIE and ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE. They are sheer fluff, with no pretensions of being anything else. Once you start trying to hint around that your protagonist is Jesus, you leave that territory forever, and are obligated to either deliver something with some literary merit, or be mocked and derided by people like me.
Askbollen, please let me once again thank you for sharing. I hope to god you won't take any of the nasty things I've said in this post personally, unless you were somehow involved in the making of this film... or any other film that purports to be deep, but succeeds only in insulting the intelligence of the audience. If you happen to be Johnny Depp, please send me a private message so we can talk about you hiring me to choose your scripts for you, so that you don't continue to waste your formidable acting talent and end up remembered by posterity for being a complete fucking jackass who made movies for fatheads.
=MOTIS=
posted by Generik at 8:43 AM
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