The Reason For The Season

As many of you know, for some time now there's been an unstated, but very effective and widespread, effort to undermine the true holiday we're about to celebrate. Millions of people participate in this effort, some knowingly, many others not. Every December it's the same thing: in department stores and school rooms and corporate offices across this great land of ours, people wish each other "Happy Holidays!" without ever acknowledging the real reason for the season.

I'm talking, of course, about the War on Solstice.

When was the last time anyone wished you a "Happy Solstice" or a "Joyful Solstice" or just told you, "Have a good Solstice"? You never hear that any more. You don't see banners in the store windows proclaiming "Merry Solstice." No one sings Solstice carols or sends Solstice cards or gives Solstice presents. Apparently there's been a very successful, well-financed and concerted effort to surgically remove the Solstice from the holiday season and banish it altogether.

Personally, I think it's tragic. I mean, it's not like we can simply deny that, early tomorrow morning, the sun will be at its lowest southern point. Any damn fool can look in the sky and see that. The Winter Solstice will be upon us. We'll experience the shortest day of the year, but how many people will blithely just go on shopping like nothing's happened? No one will mention it, for fear of... what? Getting the Galileo treatment? Being out of step with the majority? What a shame.

So in the interest of looking out for the little guy, here at The Generik Brand, we -- meaning I, me; there's nobody else here -- want to wish all of you a very Happy Solstice, and may your days get increasingly longer every day from tomorrow until some time about six months from now, when we can celebrate the Summer Solstice in June. If it hasn't been outlawed by then.

...And don't even get me started on the War on Equinox!