Friday, February 01, 2008

Can’t You Hear Me Answerin’? (Or Are You Too Rolling Stoned?)

Well, color me surprised. Shocked, even. I try to strike a balance on these quizzes between making them so obscure nobody has any clue to what the songs are and making them so easy that everyone gets them as soon as they’re posted, but it seems no one figured out that this week’s trick question was a trick question. You see, all the songs on this quiz are just a small, infinitesimal fraction of the total output of one single band: a little-known group that formed in London in approximately 829 BC known as the Rolling Stones. They had a few minor hits and some near-misses over the years; perhaps you or your parents might have heard of them somewhere down the line.

But if you were like me – and I know I am, but I suspect now that most of you are not – you grew up worshipping the Stones, completely convinced that they were the fucking GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD, that Mick Jagger’s spastic bantam rooster dance steps were the epitome of cool, that Keith Richards was a Living God On This Earth (if I had ever had a son, his name, I swear, would be Keith Richard), that the late, lamented Brian Jones was a figure taken straight from a Greek tragedy, that Charlie Watts was the rock solidest drummer that ever lived and the glue that’s kept the band together all these millennia, that Mick Taylor and Bill Wyman should never have quit the band and that Ron Wood is still “the new guy.” You bought every single album, listened to and loved every single song (except Angie; I hate Angie), would spend whatever it took to see them in concert every chance you got, and would have been able to answer this week’s quiz in about five seconds flat.

But I guess I’m the only one, and so, for all you unenlightened Stonesophobes out there, here are the answers to Guess Which Rolling Stones Song This Is. I’ll even throw in which album each one is found on, just for the sake of completeness and the continuing edumacation of my readers. I’ll admit that many of these songs are from the early days of the band, and so might not be as familiar to you young folks out there – but that also means they’ve been around long enough that virtually anyone who grew up with a radio and/or a record player in the past 45 years should have heard them at some point. Obviously, these are not the songs that everyone automatically knows within the first two notes, but if I had used Satisfaction and Brown Sugar and Honky Tonk Women, the game would have been over right away, and where’s the fun and the challenge in that?

Oh, and you know you’ve all just failed the first pop quiz in Professor Generik’s Basic Rock and Soul 101, and now need to spend a few hours each day listening to your local Classic Rock radio station (or, better yet, purchase some of the albums listed here and put them into heavy rotation) in an effort to catch up to the curriculum, right? Right…?


1. Since I was young, I’ve been very hard to please, and I don’t know wrong from right. Sitting On A Fence (Flowers)

2. Why put this sadness inside of me, why be so matter of fact? All Sold Out (Between The Buttons)

3. I hear the click-clack of your feet on the stairs, I know you’re no scare-eyed honey. Stray Cat Blues (Beggar’s Banquet – also on the live album Get Yer Ya-Yas Out) (kudos to Scout for getting at least this one)

4. Sittin’, thinkin’, sinkin’, drinkin’, wonderin’ what I’ll do when I’m through tonight… The Spider And The Fly (Out Of Our Heads – there is also a version on the more recent live album Stripped)

5. Went out walkin’ through the woods the other day, and the world was a carpet laid before me. 100 Years Ago (Goat’s Head Soup)

6. Wadin’ through the waste stormy winter, and there’s not a friend to help you through. Sweet Virginia (Exile On Main Street; Stripped)

7. Yes, star-crossed in pleasure the stream flows on by… Time Waits For No One (It’s Only Rock ‘N Roll)

8. There’s a tramp sittin’ on my doorstep, tryin’ to waste his time. With his mentholated sandwich, he’s a walking clothesline. Jigsaw Puzzle (Beggar’s Banquet)

9. Hey babe, what’s in your eyes? I saw them flashing like airplane lights. You Got The Silver (Let It Bleed)

10. Sittin’ in my bedroom late last night, got into bed and turned out the light… Off The Hook (The Rolling Stones, Now!)

**Bonus** Well, I’m waiting at the bus stop in downtown L.A. The Under Assistant West Coast Promo Man (Out Of Our Heads – also the B-side to the single Satisfaction)

And here I thought that was going to be an easy one for y'all. Shows how much I know. Well, we'll try again Tuesday, minus the trickery and the geezer bands. Maybe.
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