What City Is This? Do You Have A Football Team?

Look for Republican presidential candidate St. John McMaverick to keep repeating this story while changing the names of the players depending on the audience he's trying to hoodwink.

"While being tortured in Vietnam, I gave my captors the names of the Dallas Cowboys' Detroit Lions' Miami Dolphins' Oakland Raiders' Cleveland Browns' Minnesota Vikings' New York Jets' San Francisco 49ers' Buffalo Bills' Atlanta Falcons' Kansas City Chiefs' offensive defensive front line as my supposed squadron mates."

Hey, why not? Who's keeping track, anyway? I mean, it's not like he once wrote a fucking book (that was turned into a fucking TV movie) saying he named the Green Bay Packers' offensive linemen to his captors and then more recently told some reporter in Pennsylvania that he gave them the names of the Pittsburgh Steelers' defensive linemen. Is it? And really, what's the damn difference? Steelers, Packers, who the hell watches football in America anyway?